(Heart) Breaking News: Sony Kills Lik-Sang
I'm just on a roll with the clever titles tonight. And Sony's on a roll with the douchebaggery lately. Lik-Sang.com, the favorite import video game site of myself, Jim, and many other gamers, is no longer in business. Sony claimed that by selling PSPs from Asia to customers in Europe, Lik-Sang infringed its trade marks, copyright and registered design rights. Unfortunately, the High Court of London agreed. I don't know why they went after Lik-Sang instead of one of the many other, less cool import sites. Guess I'll have to get Jump Ultimate Stars from Play-Asia now. Lamez0r.

"Bully" Review
This game almost didn't get released due to all the negative press and boycotts from ignorant parent groups and media stories. Every fight Rockstar is in has been a one-sided argument. They tend to do what they want anyway, but whiny ignoramuses make things difficult for them. Even more recently the gaming community has seemingly turned on them. Suddenly Rockstar is the new Microsoft. I don't get it.

Don't worry parents. As a man who plays video games for a living, I can tell you that Bully is tamer than Tony Hawk. At least those shit-fest "Underground" games. It's also a better influence, if your child is enough of a dumb-fuck to imitate fictional characters in his everyday socio-pathic life. 15 year old Jimmy Hopkins is a much better role model than Bam Margera, a guy who makes millions torturing his parents and generally being a destructive asshole. Bully reminds me of my childhood, Elementary through High School. All the classic archetypes are there: the meat-headed jocks, the pompous preppies, the unstable bullies, the delusional nerds and the over-reacting greasers. It's a bit of an amalgam of different childhood experiences and characters, and other than a reference to the Internet, it's not set in any specific time period. No matter how old you are, you'll enjoy the hell out of Bully, simply for nostalgia 'sake.

In classic Rockstar fashion, the story, characters, and atmosphere are all crafted particularly well. Playing the game feels like watching a movie, and their award-worthy textures bring the characters and settings to life. The game begins in Autumn, showing off the gorgeous foliage on campus. Birds settle on power lines, crimson leaves sprinkle down from the trees above, and the world feels genuine. In a few days you start to see Halloween decorations pepper the campus, and soon you're embroiled in one of the best missions in the game, Halloween night pranks. Two chapters along and you're waking up to snow on the ground and icicles hanging from every surface. While campus is beautiful, the real magic lies waiting outside school grounds.

Surrounding (New England's?) Bullworth Academy are three towns, a sleepy waterfront with a boardwalk carnival, a wealthy suburb, and a blue-collar industrial town. All are unique but blend together magically. They feel radically different from the campus, as if you're stepping into the real world. It's almost a shame to have to go back to class. Good thing you can ditch. If you do, however, there are fitting consequences (just like in reality) you have to make up the work you missed, and in the time you were away you missed out on vital upgrades to your various skills. While off campus during classes, you also have to watch out for prefects and cops who will drag you in for being truant. Prefects and police officers will haul you in for any type of mischief you cause anyhow (just like in reality) so you have to behave around them, try and stay out of trouble, and keep your "!" meter down. You can do this by running away, going back to your dormitory, or hiding in trashcans and lockers.

When you pass up on a fight and run toward the nearest prefect, the bullies chasing you will walk the other way. When you solve problems by talking people down instead of duking it out, you avoid negative attention and might even make a friend. Most of your missions involve rescuing or escorting someone who's being bullied. Of course, some have you running in with a bad crowd (Gary) where you are pressured into causing trouble, but as our buzz-cut sporting hero says at the end of Chapter 1, "Stop picking on weak, defenseless kids. There are plenty of kids at Bullworth that deserve a good beating." "I only mess with those who have it coming to them." These aren't verbatim, but are the basic principles of the game. ...See Jackie-boy? This game punishes you for bad deeds and rewards you for good ones! Would you like some milk to wash down that crow you're eating?

Jimmy may say that Bullworth is the "worst school ever" but the truth is that most schools are as terrible as his, and some are much worse. The truth is, the smaller the school the bigger the assholes. You can get away with keeping to yourself at a big school, but it will still be a shit-hole. Truth is I've lived through most of Bully myself, except the language is much cleaner in the game, and my versions usually include drugs, alcohol, and weapons much more dangerous than a slingshot and a bag of marbles. Fights took place in "The Glen," which is conveniently located straight shot from the local Police Department and Hospital. It was like a gladiator's arena, secluded by trees with just enough visible from the bridge and sidewalk to make it a perfect little gladiator's coliseum. Just add lions and Christians.

The entire game is like a wonderful patchwork of previous Rockstar games. The fighting system is quite obviously an adapted, improved version of the one used in The Warriors, the cutscenes, map, biking, character customization, property ownership and hideout collection (after you complete a certain mission, a keepsake will show up in your room ala Vice City) are all here and improved from GTA, and overall the entire game feels very polished. As Rockstar's last current generation outing, it certainly does not disappoint.

The VO work and character animations are excellent, and I swear to God I know Gary. Of course, he went by different names and forms throughout my childhood, and he always got me into trouble. Gary is the first person you really get to know at Bullworth, and after offering to be your friend and showing you around, he manages to manipulate and set you up. Again, it reminds me of so many kids throughout my life, starting with Brian in second grade- ...anyway, he becomes your main antagonist, always three steps ahead of you, spreading lies and slander to the people you're trying to break bread with. As our cool-headed hero assures us, he'll get what's coming to him. And oh boy, he does.

In conclusion, Bully has turned from a potential Hot Coffee-size controversy to one of the best games I have ever played. You'd be a fool not to at least give it a try, even if you profess online to supposedly hating Rockstar Games and everything they develop. It's a coming of age story, one filled with frustration, exclusion, awkwardness, acceptance, and even romance. Bully is definitely the funniest game of the year, and shows that despite all the bad press and bad hype ignorant mouthpieces have been spouting about it with nothing to go on but the words "Rockstar Games" and "Bully", a gaming masterpiece can be produced without caving.

Overall: Perfect 10; Bully is one of the best games I have ever played. This is a definite buy.

PS: You can kiss a boy Jackie-baby! Fulfill your deepest, darkest desire to give Sam Houser a sloppy wet-one!

Earth Shattering News: Top Gear Presenter Richard Hammond Nearly Died
You guys know we don't post news unless it's really big or important... at least to us. We aren't huge politicos and this isn't a political site, so we don't post about the war, who we're going to vote for next month, rising gas prices, global warming, scary Christian fundamentalists, or even Republican underage cyber-sex. However, when we almost lose Richard Hammond, co-presenter on Top Gear and host of Braniac, we must report it. Top Gear is a show on the BBC dedicated to awesome fucking cars and pushing them past all sorts of speed limits. It's presented somewhat like Masterpiece Theater meets Formula One, and we love the shit out of it. You've probably seen it on the Discovery Channel or viewed clips of it on Google Video. It's the only show featuring charming Brits driving ridiculously expensive cars at speeds that make racing enthusiasts' pants tight. It's one of the few shows that make us bite our fists in awesome-tude. It's a word I made up just for Top Gear. Again, we love Top Gear.

Richard Hammond is the younger of the two presenters, 36 with two kids and a fine human being for his contribution to wicked awesomeness. We almost lost him last month when he veered off course in a 300mph jet-powered car at Elvington airfield near York. Let me repeat that, in case you're like me and you just scan over articles. JET-POWERED CAR. THREE HUNDRED MILES-PER-fucking-HOUR. He was trying to break the land speed record on film when his jet-powered car veered off course, landing him in Leeds Hospital where he was treated for significant brain injuries. On the points system doctors use, (15 is normal, 3 is flatline) he was a three. It was a fifty/fifty chance he'd live.

Thankfully he did, and narrowly avoided having doctors bore a hole in his head to drain blood and reduce the swelling. His wife and children helped him through the ordeal, and an obsession with Lego bricks helped him recover without significant brain damage. Thank God for Lego. Hopefully "The Hamster" will return to Top Gear, as he signed a two year contract with the BBC before the accident. Perhaps next time he'll let the old guy do the crazier shit. We at the Anti-Fanboy wish him a quick recovery and the best of health. Godspeed Hamster.

Source: BBC News UK

"Splinter Cell: DA" Multiplayer 360 Impressions
If you've got a 360, go on the Marketplace and download the Double Agent online demo now. You won't regret it, I promise. The first thing you will notice is that there's a small chance you'll find a game that will start perfectly. The first few hours it was available I never even got past the joining message. If I did find a game, the host 6 times out of 10 would end it, and back to the drawing board I would go. Very frustrating, but it is a demo.

The second, and most jaw dropping thing you will notice is the ease of use. Whether you end up with spy or mercenary, the button setup is incredibly simple and the learning curve is about 10 minutes until you're diving and shooting like the best of them. Spies have been disarmed this time around, limiting you to stealthy melee, electronic neutralization, and good old fashioned confusion. Animations are much smoother: every spy moves like a cat burglar with the runs.

Most of what the spies do is run, hide, and use the keypad on their forearm to remotely hack terminals. It's incredibly fun. Simply walking up to a pipe will smoothly transition into an animation of you climbing it, and jumping onto the pipe does the same thing. Again, I cannot stress how smooth it is. For added agility, holding the right bumper when running toward a window, hole in the ceiling tiles, or low vent will allow you to smoothly crash through, climb up, or slide under any of these handy escape routes. Compared to Chaos Theory, these guys are Olympic gold medalists.

Mercenaries are also much better off. Instead of having four different view choices, the motion detector is built into the regular visor and the flashlight can be focused for clarity and discretion. A drone is also available for getting into those hard to reach places, and it comes equipped with a fairly deadly self destruct. Ammo is unlimited, but grenades and drones aren't, so you'll have to visit the briefing room (spawn) to refill.

Looking forward to seeing more when Double Agent is released later this month.