i'm a huge samurai champloo fan. i've got the box set, a wall scroll above my tv, and my current background sports a character tryptich of mugen, jin and fuu. that being said, this game is awful. i expected so much better from this. grasshopper, the developers that brought us the critically acclaimed killer7 were making a game about the side adventures of the champloo gang. great! i hoped and prayed it would turn out better than the cowboy bebop game (again, huge fan) and it had the makings of a great anime game. sadly, it's worse. much worse. the music based hack n slash gameplay really has little to no bearing on the outcome of fights. at most, it means you tap square less. the story is laughable, the dialogue is about as well written as a late night cinemax original movie. they did a nice job with the characters, but the animations are way too eratic to enjoy. i've seen more depth in gameplay with flash banner ads. i'm just going to score this now, because i have a throbbing temple, sore thumbs, and a bad taste in my mouth that won't go away.

verdict: 04/10; fans will be depressed...

nintendo has decided upon a new name for the revolution.


Introducing: Wii.

As in "we".

While the code-name "Revolution" expressed our direction, Wii represents the answer.

Wii will break down that wall that separates video game players from everybody else.

Wii will put people more in touch with their games... and eachother. But you're probably asking: What does the name mean?

Wii sounds like "we," which emphasizes this console is for everyone.

Wii can easily be remembered by people around the world, no matter what language they speak. No confusion. No need to abbreviate. Just Wii.

Wii has a distinctive "ii" spelling that symbolizes both the unique controllers and the image of people gathering to play.

And Wii, as a name and a console, brings something revolutionary to the world of video games that sets it apart from the crowd.

So that's Wii. But now Nintendo needs you.

Because, it's really not about you or me.

It's about Wii.

And together, Wii will change everything.


cute! maybe they can call their unified online service "WiiFi".

via revolution.nintendo.com

...and you got 360 in my steam! wait a minute...

holy shit! i emailed a guy i know at valve software a few weeks ago, and suggested that they take counter-strike source, day of defeat source and half life 2 deathmatch to the 360, since the marketplace platform is very similar to steam, and the 360 can handle all the games valve are developing. today, steam news released this:


First title coming soon to Microsoft's Next Generation Console

Bellevue, WA - April 26, 2006 - Valve, a leading entertainment and technology studio, is pleased to announce development of future game releases for the Xbox 360 video game and entertainment system from Microsoft.

The coming titles will be powered by a customized version of Source, the technology that powered Valve's Half-Life 2. Source provides state of the art performance in graphics, networking, artificial intelligence, physics simulatio, and more.

"The combination of Source and the 360 provides game designers the chance to create powerful entertainment experiences," said Gabe Newell, president and co-founder of Valve. "Whether developing a traditional FPS, RTS, RPG or delving into new genres, the Xbox 360 is a great platform for expanding Source and our game experiences."

The Valve 360 products are being designed to leverage the Xbox 360's advanced graphics hardware and integration with Xbox Live online game service.


could all be a big coincidence, but either way i'm so psyched i'm shitting butterflies.

atleast, that's what i predict game publication's headlines will read this summer. hop on over to gamevideos (1up's answer to gametrailers) to download an hd gameplay trailer too big for the 'tube. if based on its superior gameplay alone, it would make oblivion look mediocre, but the advanced physics (source engine, thenkyaw!), interactive environmental puzzles (ala half life 2), and beautiful architecture, models and textures make oblivion look downright shoddy. the different ways you can approach each situation (gung ho vs stealth) and the intense melee combat (kick button wtf) have me slobbering all over my keyboard. one feature that looks expecially delicious are the different stances you can take and locking swords with your enemy. the magic spells definitely put oblivion's to shame. i'm not dissing the elder scrolls, i'm just saying that this game looks waaay better.

i was admittedly unsure about lara's latest adventure. i wrote it off as "another tomb raider" ... ugh. even after i saw the spectacular visuals, i had reservations. the other games looked good for when they were released, but played about as fluidly as a point & click adventure. if anyone can bounce back from terrible mediocrity though, it's lady croft.

crystal dynamics took back the reigns to the tomb raider franchise, and instead of simply bleeding the turnip, they took the seeds and grew it in a whole new garden. her look was the first renovation; all the nipping and tucking was reversed, and she was modelled after actual women. they finally outfitted her in something sensible, and gave her a haircut; that long braid was bound to get her killed sooner or later. i was also very glad to see the john lennon shades go. they were so... blossom.

the game turned out magnificently. the animations are smooth and realistic, the character and weapon models look fantastic, and the textures are crisp and beautiful. lara is easy to control; she jumps, rolls, slides, climbs and shimmies with natural ease. each level has a combination of swing bars, ropes, and ledges, but somehow it remains fresh and fun. the camera can oft-times be a bit of a problem, especially in dark, claustrophobic areas, but that can be remedied by flicking it up above you for an aerial view. from bolivia's lush cliffsides to tokyo's neon cityscape; kazakhstan's snowy mountaintops to the rainy streets of london, the settings each have their own individual color pallettes, architecture, foliage, and environmental puzzles. most importantly, the game stays true to its namesake. no matter where she goes, at some point she will raid a tomb.

lara is incredibly detailed. when you climb out of the water, her hair, clothes, and skin look wet; and later on you can see the actual drips on her face and chest. after an intense boss battle she's visibly dirty. you can see the grenades you pick up around her waist, and the guns you pick up on her back. in fact, her model is so detailed, you can see her entire inventory without ever entering a menu. this, like the gameplay, gives the game a more organic feel. the other models aren't as well done as our hero's though. most of them look like they stepped out of an old navy ad six years ago, and every female character is a paper doll of lady croft; they just change the hair, clothes, and skin color. boom! whole new person. i expect as much from lupin the third, but...

keeley hawes, lara's voice actress, does a magnificent job. she breathes life into her character, with an emotional range that could carry a radio drama. the rest of the v-o work is phoned in, however. zip, her tech guru on the other end of her earpiece sounds like the same guy who does every quasi-black dude in video games (because he is). he tries too hard to be the cool black guy with all white friends, so he ends up saying things like "fucklift," and having no friends. the ambient noise is extremely well done, and every stage is framed by a magnificent score. even though there is nary a moment where you aren't doing something; when you take a break, soak in your surroundings, and the background music swells, you can't help but feel like you're playing out a movie.

the 360 version is more than just a port. true, it's the same game, but with more than a simple coat of paint. screenshots don't do it justice. it really has to be witnessed in action. the lighting and mapping are magnificent, giving the feeling that this world she's in, no matter how fantastic or ridiculous, very well could exist. having played nothing but shooters and fighters for the last few months, legend is a breast of fresh air.

verdict: 08/10; crystal dynamics have outdone themselves. bravo, gents.

i just put some adspace on the site, which can be purchased through the contact us button on the right. i also added a google search bar and google ads to generate some hosting revenue, as i'm flat broke but want a domain and a server. full on ipb forums in the latest version would be sweet too, so get crackin on the ad clickin. open 'em in a new tab, and if you don't know what that means, click the firefox ad at the bottom of the sidebar. i get a dollar, and you get the official browser of the anti-fanboy's editor in chief.

bravo, vgcats. bravo.

before the modern video game movie, there were movies that revolved around video games. they were partly a ploy to generate juvenile interest in a crappy movie, simulate popular culture, or create buzz, but sometimes they were simply elaborate advertising campaigns for computers and video game consoles. remember wanting the synthesizer and computer ferris bueller used to ditch school? how about the newton john connor used to hack a security keypad in terminator 2? i'll cite a few of the most notoriously shameful examples...
1983: wargames
matthew broderick is a bored teenager who hacks norad in his spare time. he meets falkin, a computerized relic of his programmer. broderick decides to play a game with falkin, the only problem is: the missiles are real. this may have been more of a statement against reagan's star wars defense plan than a marketing campaign for a computer most people haven't heard of; but after wargames, who doesn't want to play global thermonuclear war on their imsai 8080?

1984: cloak & dagger
dabney coleman must have been on contract for atleast 2 shitty techno thrillers that year, as he takes second billing on this and wargames. the star is a still adorable henry thomas. if his name doesn't ring a bell, it's probably because the last time you saw him in a movie, he was pedalling a bicycle in front of the moon with et in the basket. the "bad guys" hide a micro chip inside an atari cartridge that grants access to top secret military plans for an "invisible bomber plane". of all the stinkers they released in the eightees, this one reeks. the dialogue and story sound as if a drugged up, 6 year old drew barrymore wrote it, and decided her movie-brother should star. she had a sweet little lisp, and talking out the side of her mouth was cute back then. i bet she had pull in hollywood. ...anyway, this movie had atari branding everywhere, from the 5200 they used to the posters on the walls. it even had a tie in video game, originally under development by the name of agent x. try and watch this all the way through. just try.

1989: the wizard
the wonder years' fred savage stars as the older brother of a nintendo savante. deaf to the world around him, jimmy is unusually good at nes. due to his anti-social behavior, his parents want to send him to an institution, but older brother fred won't have it. they flee to california. as soon as they get off the bus, they figure out it takes money to... um, live... so while fred goes out to find money, jimmy racks up 50,000 points in double dragon (for some reason even the arcade cabinets have nes' in them), attracting the attention of another runaway, haley. she clues them in on the 50,000 dollar purse in a fictional nes tourney. before they get to california, haley decides they need to stop by her home in reno. while bumming aroung the local arcade, jimmy beats an nes salesman and attracts the attention of a kid who points them to the baddest of badasses, lucas. their meeting in this classic scene sets the tone for the rest of the movie. they are no longer a rag-tag trio of runaway children, they are warrior gamers. together they must face lucas, with his... powerglove. basically, this is an hour and a half long infomercial for a worthless nintendo accessory. the only way this could have been worse: lucas is really rob the robot in disguise.

1993: surf ninjas
what do rob shneider, leslie nielsen, kelly hu, the kid who played keno in tmnt II: secret of the ooze, and his father, the guy who played akuma in the street fighter movie have in common? yes, they all fueled the fire that slowly killed the film industry, but their biggest cooperative achievement was a movie that combined ninjustsu with surfing. this, however, was just a fray in a string of ninja-sploitation films in the late eighties/early nineties that included american ninja 2: the confrontation and three ninjas: high noon at mega mountain. they're what i like to call "pizza hut movies," as there was usually some kind of tie-in deal with the greasy franchise. it turns out keno and his little brother are actually ninja royalty, who were smuggled off the island they kindly ruled over when leslie nielsen (aka colonel chi) killed their father and seized power. a ninja who once served their father comes to rescue them when chi decides to kill them off. needless to say, there's lots of surfing, and lots of ninjas. the more groan-worthy event in the movie is the power keno's younger brother recieves: he can see the future through his sega game gear. no shit. of course, he sees it all in wonderful 8 bit clarity, 8 seconds before it happens, so really, the best he can manage is a "watch out behind you!" throughout the entire movie. it must have gone over quite well in asia, as they have superior cover art.

coming soon: "clash of the industries part II: 2d fighter adaptations"

ah, Tetris. we all know it. we all (well most of us) love it. no doubt because it's one of the greatest & most timeless games ever. so how's the recently released DS incarnation of the classic? pretty darn sweet. the standard mode is, well, standard tetris; except now you can save a piece for later by pressing R or L. this comes in handy, & in my opinion, is a great new feature. some complain that Tetris DS is "broken" because you can continue to rotate a piece even when it has landed. this can definitely make things easier, but isn't really that big of a deal. they could have at least included an option to turn it off, just so people couldn't whine about it, but whatever, they didn't.

the new modes are actually quite enjoyable, & don't just feel like filler. in puzzle mode you need to clear the lines with only the pieces provided. in touch mode, the pieces aren't constantly falling, but instead are already piled up in front of you. your job is to drag & rotate them with the stylus to clear lines. there's also a puzzle version of touch mode. these're all nice, less hectic alternatives to the standard Tetris we're all used to. good to play before bed, or when you're trying to relax. when you're in the mood for something less laid back, there's mission mode, which requires you to clear lines in certain ways, or with certain blocks. if you fail to complete a mission in time, gray blocks come from the bottom as punishment. in push mode the "bottom" is in the middle of the two screens. whenever you clear a line, it goes down, closer to to your rival's end zone. push is more fun against an actual human opponent than against the computer, of course.

speaking of actual humans, Tetris DS has some great multiplayer features. up to ten people can engage in fierce line-clearing battles with just one game cartridge. the items they put in multiplayer can be fun, but I prefer to play without em. feel like going Wi-Fi on someone's ass? well, as I'm sure you've already heard, Tetris DS supports Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection play for up to four players. if you're a fan of Tetris, then this would make a great addition to your DS collection. it's the same addicting puzzle game that's kicked ass over the years, but with some cool new modes, Wi-Fi multiplayer, & a pretty new box.

...& yes, I see tetriminos when I close my eyes.

verdict: 09/10; if you like Tetris, buy this game.

i go about my daily routine of checking all the reputable news sites, sometimes backtracking a few pages to see what i missed while i was living life afk. i run across some interesting stories, and i realise that i have no way of knowing if they are real, or a prank for april first. it was cute when egm did it long ago, and got everyone all hopped up about a secret street fighter character, but now it's become the one day (sometimes month) for once trusted news sources to jerk all their readers around. the joke's worn off guys. i actually want to hear real news in the crucial month before e3. i still have no idea whether or not a bob ross game is in the works for revolution and ds... i for one, would love making "happy little trees" with my stylus or remote. american mcgee's hansel and gretel could be pretty sweet. it's the fourth guys, get back to work.